45 Blade Chainsaw
The Troegenator is a double bock lager made by the Troegs brothers of Harrisburg Pennsylvania. Troegenator is brewed with Pilsner, Munich and Chocolate Malts and spiced with Hallertau Hops for an IBU of 25 and an alcohol content of 8.2% ABV.
Early this week I bought four six-packs to experiment with and had the final choice of a dark Lager and the Doublebock. I went back and forth on this for a little while, and during the long ride home I had feelings of regret for not getting the double bock. When I unloaded the trunk, I noticed that I did in fact buy the Troegenator and was kicking walls down for making the right life choices.
A quick search of the Troegs brewing company suggests that they have a good reputation for hand crafted brews. I look forward to trying this and others from their collection.
The illustration on the bottle displayed a scary horned goat-beast over dark menacing colors; very frightening. But don’t get ahead of yourself bottle, I’m the Alpha male!
Onto The Method
8.0/10 – The Classic
2.0 – Appearance – Beautiful red to mahogany color that is rich and artful. It has great carbonation and a head that is off white and looks like a meal.
1.5 – Aroma – Gentle malt sweetness that feels like maple syrup pouring over my heart (minus the blood and arterial system).
1.5 – Taste – Malty caramel sweet with a miniature serrated edge; has chocolaty toffee baby bear claws.
1.0 – Palate – A medium to heavy feel with sticky after taste, like pancake syrup.
2.0 – Overall – A well crafted masterpiece built for art and integrity.
6.0/10 Blades – The Hammer – the booze – This bear was built with a high 8.2% abv; a mid range for a double bock but certainly a high octane fuel. The high alcohol content did not show through the flavor of the brew. I definitely expected Troegenator would have a stronger alcoholic feel. Ultimately, the hammer was challenged by a thick, meaty body that needed its own digestive attention.
4.0/10 Blades – The Knife –digestibility – Heavy lagers of this style have a basic challenge of developing a knife through their thick skin, and this beast was no exception as it had difficulty cutting through its thick wool.
2.0/10 Blades – The Spider – the lift –Slow climbing spider, like trying to climb up through thick molasses.
5.0/10 Blades – The Motor –can you handle it? – Heavy motor that needs to be cleaned, too many miles in between service. More a large farm tractor than a sports machine. The night ended after the fifth brew.
20.0/50 Blades – The Buzz – To be fair, Troegenator was probably not built to create a strong buzz. It scores highly as a well crafted quality brew that is skilled, unique and heavy fisted. As the makers suggest, it is a big beer that compliments a big steak meal, though I wouldn’t add anything heavy as the Troegenator acts like the bread companion of the feast. More to the point, drinking Troegenator for the buzz was a challenge as I constantly felt as if my guts were decomposing a large mammal. Despite its high alcohol content, I could not get past its digestive wall to create an appreciable buzz.
As I thought about the chainsaw approach to rating beer, I felt that last night’s rating could act as a misrepresentation of how well the Troegenator was crafted. I expect that as we continue with the Chainsaw Method, we’ll find that many great beers will come short of a good buzz. And likewise, we may come across some awful losers that pack a powerful punch.
In order to justify the quality of this liquid masterpiece, I am now sitting and enjoying the brew as it is meant to be savored. I sit before the remaining bottle poured well into its glass container and complimenting it with a piece of meat. This beer is STILL more filling than a dead cow.
This moment offers an opportunity to mentally study the lamentation of my method. And in doing so, I am recalled of a time when I worked for an advertising company during the evenings in Times Square. A coworker lady asked me if I thought a particular actress was attractive; an inclusion of a conversation already started by a small group.
When I opined that I did not think so, they were quick to point out that she was, indeed, attractive and that I did not have the right to make such a harsh judgment. I respected their comments and began another conversation about how actors in general are paid millions and millions of dollars essentially to read words into a camera and make facial expressions to convince us that they feel something they do not.
It is easy work, while doctors or physicists who do important work get paid a small fraction in comparison to their acting peers. Actors at some level understand this, and the more seasoned ones cope with this injustice by inappropriately voicing their opinions on environmental and world hunger issues as well as in political arenas. Actors I believe do more than acting and get paid not only for the work they do on-screen, but also for being in the limelight and undergoing the scrutiny and torture of the paparazzi, the tabloids and their general human audience. Doctors do not ordinarily get followed by money hungry photographers and end up in the tabloids with close ups of their cellulite ridden thighs and ass.
By paying for movie tickets, DVD rentals and buying products from commercials that pay their salary, you and I are by extension contributing to the luxurious lifestyles in which they live. That is what gives us the right to decide whether or not an actress is attractive. They get preyed on by millions of savage spectators in exchange for their millions and millions of dollars.
Likewise, we have the right as consumers to make honest judgments about a purchased product and hold it against a measure of success that you and I create. I never mean to be malicious or ill intended, just honest about the measures of happiness in my life. And while brewers don’t make the millions that actors do, they’ve chosen a profession that fulfills their life desires and should expect a wide range of personal opinions of their creations. Most important, however, is that we should all be lucky that the tabloids don’t print close ups of their beer bellies.