Smuttynose Portsmouth Lager
90 Blade Chainsaw
Smuttynose Portsmouth Lager is crafted by the Smuttynose Brewing Co. in Portsmouth, New Hampshire. According to Smuttynose Brewing Co., Portsmouth Lager is named in honor of its hometown’s 375th anniversary. The website details its recipe as being crafted with Two-Row US Pale Malt, Cartastan and Special “B” and spiced with Czech Saaz hops for total of 15 IBU’s and an alcohol content of 5.1% ABV.
Upon tasting this fine brew and recognizing its hop character, I questioned its 15 IBU and wondered if the bottle had been mislabeled. The following day I contacted Smuttynose Brewing Co. and they in fact altered the recipe to elevate the IBU’s to 28while adding Spaltz hops for aroma. After asking Mr. David Yarrington to quote him for this review, he ran into the cover of silence in response to my wielding chainsaw consciousness.
Smuttynose Portsmouth Lager was introduced in 1998 in hopes that it would inspire a Samuel Adams Boston Lager-like regional following from the locals and visitors alike. It is with great regret that Portsmouth Lager has been discontinued due to the cold hardship of monetary difficulties in the presence of our current financial environment, and is being replaced by Star Island Single, a session beer brewed with spice.
I picked up Portsmouth Lager without much question or concern, and was pleasantly surprised at its quality and unique characteristics for being a lager – Smuttynose Portsmouth Lager is good MutherF*ing beer!
Onto The Method
9.0/10 – The Classic
2.0 – Appearance – Carbonation and foam explodes right out of the bottle making it necessary to pour over the sink. It serves rich and creamy with a healthy head that sticks around. The body is unusually cloudy and opaque for a lager, and the lacing is strong and substantial.
1.5 – Aroma – At first the fragrances display a super faint malt aroma with very little temperament. It was so faint in fact that I sniffed on the air above the brew so strongly that some of the liquid accidentally entered my nostrils! That experience introduced an interesting and unexpected hop disposition into my soul.
2.0 – Taste – The flavoring experience turns this continental style lager unexpectedly upside down – diminishing it’s light and sweet malt flavors by it’s surprisingly rich and sharp hop character.
1.5 – Palate – Extra smooth base with a serrated edged hop laceration.
2.0 – Overall – With a sharp hop bite over a smooth velvety body, this might end up being one of the best lagers I’ve ever tasted, it is an unfortunate shame it is being discontinued.
9.0/10 Blades – The Hammer – the booze – A respectable but moderate 5.1% ABV that packs a punch and works well with its body and ingredients. As I continue to review this lager, all aspects present themselves as excellent and surprising.
9.0/10 Blades – The Knife –digestibility – The knife is a rough serrated edged beast shredding my essence with aggression and lustful laceration – releasing heat and barbaric chemistry through my mania and flesh.
9.0/10 Blades – The Spider – the lift –Because this beer is so delicious and its character satisfying, I’m pounding these Mutherf*ers with dominating and lustful consensual abuse. As a result, the rush comes on fast and strong, and ready to chainsaw the night!
9.0/10 Blades – The Motor –can you handle it? – It’s no problem controlling this engine; the buzz is high end energizing, and the night rips with lethal intent.
45.0/50 Blades – The Buzz – Smuttynose Portsmouth Lager is an excellent example of how a moderate alcohol content beer can ignite with furor and atomic detonation. This brew inspires lustful predatory hunt, and like a good woman that can handle my masculine authority, this beer can endure my appetite for alcoholic domination. I am surprised by the flavorful quality uncharacteristic of many lager beers and can enjoy an energetic and high buzz with gasoline vapors fuming through my body ready to set perpetuity ablaze.
Smuttynose Portsmouth Lager was a great contrast to a real piece of garbage Phillipine lager I had this weekend. I got stuck with a lager that had all the callings of a terrible beer; adjuncts, preservatives, impurity and zero craftsmanship. In comparison, this quality constructed brew proved to be an infinitely superior specimen of the style.
In recognizing beers starting with a 90 Blade Chainsaw, I’m noticing a desire to pound them and call them mutherf*ers! As my experience organically grows, I tend to go with the flow and allow the method to evolve on its own volition. As I come across more 90 Blade Chainsaw beers, I’m considering starting a Mutherf*ing good beer list – stay tuned and be ready. The hunt is on, and beer is the prey.